| Bicycle! |
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| 02:48pm 10/07/2009 |
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Roomba scared Jonah this morning, so he came into our room and trod all over my organs and then I could not get back to sleep. So I got up and applied for jobs on Craigslist, and then got tired to death of that (You too can make six figures a year selling an undisclosed product! Recent grads welcome, no experience necessary! Management positions! PAYMENT ON COMMISSION.) and glanced around at the "free stuff" page, which then reminded me that I wanted a bicycle (my teenager one, the one that got me from 7 years old to 17 years old, got left behind at my parents' for the move) so I looked at local listings. AND LO. http://portland.craigslist.org/mlt/bik/1262054713.html
I beat four other people to the punch, got it from a nice old german man who bought it years ago and then never used it. It's so new and shiny that there are still seam lines on the brakes and wheels, and there is not a speck of corrosion on any of the nuts, screws, or enamel. He threw in a same-color helmet for $5 more. SCORE. |
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| an update. |
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| 03:30am 10/07/2009 |
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mood:  indescribable music: Yoshida Brothers - Kodo
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So I'm alive and well. Some of you might have wondered; don't worry anymore. I'll take a picture later of me holding a recent newspaper, or something.
Portland is very beautiful. It doesn't rain as much here as I was lead to expect-- I have yet to be inconvenienced by the rain, and only three days out of the last thirty have been warmer than I was comfortable with. We have been able to adjust temperature very happily just by opening and closing windows around the house, and it has been easy to fall asleep. We've gone downtown a handful of times, and each time I was surprised at how nice it is. There are a lot of homeless people here-- more than I have ever seen before -- and I admit I have had to convince myself not to be slightly frightened of them. But the streets smell nice and are very well laid out (alphabetical and numerical order, huzzah for the grid system) and there are coffee shops and bookstores everywhere. There is no sales tax, and food is much less expensive here-- particularly our favorite sushi place, which is one of those sushi-go-rounds. It has a lunch special during the weekdays for $1-$1.50 per plate, and we stuff ourselves cheaply.
Still losing weight, though not nearly as fast as I was-- I haven't put any back on, though. Need more exercise.
Started putting in applications. I was putting it off until lately; desirous of a vacation, unsure if I wanted to continue on in the same sort of job I was doing before. Ideally, I never have to take mentally impaired humans to the grocery store again. I would love a more office-like job, somewhere where I work in a building and have a desk. I have a pretty good resume, these days, and I am not frightened of my situation; we have an excellent support network here, and the time I have taken to myself is time we can more than afford.
I felt a little homesick this morning, missed the people I used to know.
I found out today a little bit more about a friend who was once very dear to me, and the sort of things he used to tell people behind my back; weakening me, and for why? It's too long past to even bring up now, I am afraid; the benefits gained of laying it all straight would not exceed the sadness of that confrontation, so I'm letting it go, chalking it up to mistakes made. We haven't had a real conversation in ages anyhow; all too often I find that I disagree with his issues and opinions, don't laugh at his jokes, don't sympathize with his problems. Does that sort of thing happen over time, or do you only notice it in retrospect? Or perhaps I'm laboring under an attribution bias; hurt by his actions, I can only see reasons to let him go. Then again, that latter doubt has been his saving grace for some time, now; perhaps it is best to let the attachment die altogether.
I was a little concerned about my mental health, making this trip. My freshman year in college saw me to a full mental breakdown; this is not common knowledge, and the details are genuinely unimportant. I grew a great deal as a person because of it, and gained a more detailed understanding of my limits after the fact, but the relevancy of mentioning it is that I was a little concerned that this infinitely more remote move would see me to a similar breakdown-- the loneliness, the fear of failure, the homesickness, the strangeness of all the people and places and things. But I'm older now, and I am the furthest from alone. That matters.
I broke my driver's-side sideview mirror, backing out of the covered parking space we only just started renting. I have never damaged a vehicle of my own before (I was once occupying my car when someone else crashed into it, but I don't count it as a mistake -I- made.) I was not going to fix it, since the shards are still contained in the frame and it seemed to work, but now I find that it ever so slightly distorts my view when changing lanes on the highway, and I really should spend the money to have it repaired. That is slightly stressful, because I am sure it won't come cheaply. I feel stupid for breaking it. I'm usually so careful about backing out.
We started putting pictures into the picture frames on the wall. Mary, the ones you bought us for the wedding are so beautiful-- they are extremely well made, and they are up in our living room now, where we spend all of our time. Right now we mostly have just wedding photos in them; I should really pick up a new ink cartridge, and start printing out some of the other gorgeous photos that we own.
I mailed my old cellular phone to my mother. It is still in service. My phone number these days is different, and if you have lost the number somewhere, I can give it to you. There were some voice mails on it that I never receivved, including "a long and emotional farewell from a former client of yours" that my father reported to me in no more words than that, and then deleted. I sort of wish I had gotten to hear it, but c'est la vie.
We are going to the Chinese Gardens on Saturday, with Ilana, who has been patient and bright and come by to see us nearly every day. I am excited to go and, I think, ready to be glad that the sun is shining and my friends are here. We are grown; we made this decision. We are where we decided to be. Looking back, it was a big decision, but well planned and well made, despite weddings and vacations and graduations-- we saved up the moeny we made ourselves and we ran to a land that appears to contain all of the promise we thought it did. |
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| For-girl porn is a lot like for-guy porn except everyone cuddles before and after. <3 |
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| 04:17pm 03/07/2009 |
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I have renewed my interest in pulling interesting things off of the internet. In absolutely unrelated news, I have 400 chapters of Naruto manga to read (hey, it's the only way I'll ever catch up, there's hundreds of hours of anime to go through if I went that route), as well as all of the Sandmen (Sandman?) comics, and a number of other old favorites I never got to finish. In similarly unrelated news, I finally cashed in on my curiosity about what all this Yaoi nonsense is about, and found out that what is it supposed to be is racy smut by women for women about gay men. There is stuff without any storyline at all and there is stuff without any X-rated material at all and sometimes, with surprising regularity, there is stuff without story -or- smut-- just a lot of sparkling, open-mouthed, shining eyed this-is-totally-not-a-pre-pubescent-girl pictures of two boys falling into vapid love. And then there is Haru Wo Daiteita, which has story -and- smut -and- 14 volumes of 4-6 chapters each incidentally available to torrent off of the internet when you join a certain ![[info]](http://l-stat.livejournal.com/img/community.gif) youka_nitta community.
It is a hot day in Portland, the second in a row, and we have been importing fans left right and center. They are not helping very much, but we do not have air conditioning.
We have been watching a lot of Boston Legal, a surprisingly funny show starring William Shatner, Candice Bergen and Jason Spader. It is funny and I recommend it.
Still losing weight on the diet; stuck to it. Glad my pants have drawstrings. It has been slow going, assuredly. |
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| Oregon trip |
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| 11:45pm 11/06/2009 |
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We moved to Oregon. It took us four days and 36 hours. It was stressful and exhausting and anyone who has done a marathon drive like that gets it, and everyone else will have to take it on faith.
I did not notice the distance from home-- I never felt like we were in the far wilderness. The first day was horrible. Mei did not show up after two hours of tearing my parents' house apart calling her and looking for her, so in the end we left with a distraught jonah, barely having said goodbye to my folks. I was so upset that I sped. I always speed, I have a terrible leadfoot, but I sped more than usual and got caught doing 86 in a 70, landing me an enormous speeding ticket that I wholeheartedly deserved and completely regretted, particularly because Kirk had joked not ten minutes earlier that the only thing that would make the day worse was if we got a speeding ticket. Then a pair of deer dove across the road in front of us on the interstate, so I had to swerve into the far lane to avoid hitting the second one. We basically felt from there on that the universe was trying to kill us on this trip, and Kirk tucked into a book for the next hour to calm himself.
It all got much nicer from there. Jonah got used to the drive, and my parents found Mei, who had been hiding underneath a bed. They told me they would be sending her via airline on friday-- I go to pick her up around noon tomorrow. I'm a little excited, actually-- I missed her. When I had to drive away last thursday, I felt a bit like I was leaving a child behind. I'm sure all you pet owners understand.
The truck that Blaine drove, the one towing his car that had all of our lives in it, could not go above 55 mph the entire time-- something we had not anticipated when we left MI with it. He and his passenger (Ilana most of the time, Kirk on the final day) were therefore half an hour to two hours behind my volvo the entire trip, which added to a little bit of friction and frustration there, but we were able to meet up some of the time for lunches and things. On the day we drove through Nebraska, we stopped in a little town called Paxton for dinner, which served us some pretty amazingly bland and corny country cookin'. Jonah stayed in the car for the duration (I figured out how to turn the movement sensors off), and may have saved me from a parking ticket with his cute face and little red harness-- It having gotten dark, I didn't see the yellow curb when I parked my volvo on this dirt packed road in front of the restaurant. I got a warning, left on my windshield. Half an hour after we pulled out of the town, Paxton got hit by a tornado that chased us down I-80 and scared, I think, more or less everyone but me-- I was not stressed out much over it, I think because I am more or less desensitized to the national severe weather warning radio broadcasts from years and years of hearing them and then -not- getting hit by a tornado. (All those wasted hours of youth, huddled in the family basement...)
The other days were not very eventful. And now we're here and unpacking, and it is slowly sinking in that we are HERE now, here in the new apartment and settling slowly. There is no air conditioning in the unit, and this purports to be an Oregon quirk-- the manager claimed that Oregon summers are hardly ever warm enough to need them. The place does get a little uncomfortable in the middle of the day, but I think it's something one just gets used to. We are slowly expanding and discovering our local stores and cinemas and things, which is a process greatly eased by my GPS device and the wifi on my iPod Touch. Kirk's mother took the three of us (plus Ilana) to Costco to help us restock our household, and bought us a ridiculous sum of groceries-- more than enough to get us fully started on our various necessities. I unpacked and decorated the kitchen and dining room, and we finally finished putting the last touches on the living room today. All that is left is the bathroom and the bedrooms, but that will be vastly less work and fewer rools needed in sum. (If I stub my toe again or trip over one more god damned box, I will throw a tantrum.)
I got my phone number changed over today also, with the purchase of a new phone (courtesy kirk's father-- they are putting me on the family plan, and guided me toward a more expensive model, eek) which turns out to be a Blackberry. I am still figuring out all the bells and whistles on it, which are honestly a little bit daunting. I have looked at a few job sites but not made any applications yet, in part because I still want to catch up on my damn sleep and destress. It has been a process.
It is hard to believe that we are 2400 miles from the place I was born and grew up. The country is four days drive across and still just doesn't feel big. I live in the networked generation. You're always close to the people you know. |
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| Blogging About Hawaii II |
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| 09:18pm 26/05/2009 |
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Last night's dinner was baby octopus braised in home-made marinara sauce then marinated in a home-made sesame-sake ginger dressing, and grilled on one of the huge grills down by the pool. It shared our plates alongside mahi mahi done so perfectly that my mouth literally waters at the thought, and salmon steaks. We ate it with home made garden salsa, farro pilaf, avocado-corn-tomato salad, and orzo salad. I had a glass of white wine to finish it off. I could get used to this.
We went snorkeling again today, at a place called Blackrock by all of the expensive hotels. There is a big horshoe-shaped enclosed reef there that I went exploring, leaving Kirk behind, and later I found out he had not seen me leave and was worried that I had gotten squashed by a rock or something. But I didn't! The end. After we got out of the water, we walked up and down the beach a little bit, and then came home and showered before going into downtown Lahaina for some touristy shopping. I bought a necklace and some souvenirs, and we all got to try some cups of "shaved ice" which are not at all like snocones.
Now we are home, showered -again- (hot and sweaty from running around, greasy from new sunblock) and relaxing until dinnertime. Tomorrow is a helicopter tour of the island and then a luau in the evening with my devoted husband.
We have worked on our tans (despite SPF 70 sunscreen) and are well into golden. I bet before the end of the week we make it all the way to brown.
Stayed inside my diet budget sort of accidentally-- getting more exercise on this vacation than I have in months! (yikes) Feeling good, doing well, still taking pictures. We saw the Weeping Banyan tree today-- a single tree that takes up an entire park. We saw it -on our way to getting some shaved ice.- Damn accidental awesome. |
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| Blogging about Hawaii |
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| 10:30pm 25/05/2009 |
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mood:  happy music: the ocean surf
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I am blogging this from the balcony of our condo, which is shaded and receives the full sea breeze, while looking over a vista of retarded beauty, artificial and natural. Needs to be said.
So, we landed in Maui the day before last, after fifteen grueling hours on planes and in airports. We had one layover in Phoenix, which had the worst airport I've ever been through (and I have been through a number of them!) in terms of usefulness as a stopping over point. We trekked through four wings of the airport in search of a sit-down restaurant. Every wing contained one sports bar (of assorted names, but all essentially the same), one pizza hut express (which served only meat pizzas, no veggies), one deli shop (all of which would only serve breakfast, despite the assortment of timezones that passengers occupy as they come through), and one burger king, which would also only serve breakfast. We ended up shelling out $20 for two premade sandwiches at a Starbucks (which were awful!) and one small green tea latte.
But we got here. There is a six hour timezone difference, backward, in Maui-- we arrived at about 3:30pm, which was 9:30pm for us, on not much sleep at all. It's okay-- the sunshine woke us up almost immediately. There was a chauffeur there, who welcomed us with a pair of real-live-orchid leis, which I took a photo of since I knew they were not long for this world. Then we got into a Lincoln Infinity (I think?) and got the long, winding driving-tour of the island on our way to the Hyatt Regency. Our tour guide was a white guy who just settled in to live here forty years ago. He says he's almost 60, but he looks 40, great smile.
The Hyatt Regency does not really have front doors. It is a big, flattened diamond of a building, that is completely open to the sky on the inside-- the weather can just come in and beat on the elevators. There are orchids growing in long flower pots all along the inside of every terrace, and their restaurant is right on the beachfront, where earlier in May you can watch the whales-- Maui is a breeding ground for one of the whale species, I believe humpback. The whale watching industry saw 3000 of them this year. On our way in we passed a lot of the locals going to the waterfront. Maui is the name of the god of fishermen in the tiki tradition, and it is local custom that if a visitor bears a fishing pole, he is permitted to stay on the beaches overnight, regardless of other regulations. Everyone had a fishing pole, and there were hundreds of tents.
We ate sushi with the surf crashing, and they lit tiki torches at night. Then we went up to our lovely room and enjoyed the rest of the evening, calling it an early night. The next day we checked out and went to our condo at Papakea, which we have rented for the rest of the week-- it is a mile from the Hyatt Regency and shares the same wonderful beach. We are on the "dry side" of the island, which means that storms hit the other side of the volcano here and clouds stay away, leaving the sky open and brilliant blue. In an attempt to be intelligent vacationers, Kirk and I have been clinging to the sunblock. We unpacked (read: threw our suitcases in a room and plugged in our cell phone chargers), changed into swimsuits, and went charging down to the beach to see what the ocean was like. It is salty. Not just a little salty, as I assumed, but REALLY salty, like season-your-food-salty. My surprise in this matter has been a source of some delight. Kirk and I swam out to a rocky shelf and then stood against the crashing waves for a while (which will knock you clean over if you aren't watchful!) and then said screw this and walked forty feet back to the pool and swam there instead. (XD) The pool here is in-ground, and the water was actually a little warmer than I prefer! It has been a long time since I went properly swimming, and I have to say that I got tired kind of fast. (But it's the best exercise there is, practically, so that's no shock!)
We went and got lunch at a hole in the wall fishery/deli called The Fish Market, where they served seafood burgers and mixed grill. I had a fish called Ono (OH NO, I AM DELICIOUS) and it tasted a lot like swordfish. Very dense, I liked it. For dinner, Kirk's father put together three different pasta/grain salads, wasabi salmon burgers (which he made by purchasing a salmon steak, then cleaning and chopping it up fine), and curried pork. It was all completely delicious. I have not stayed within my diet budget, but I have been close-- less than 200 over every night. I am on vacation! They have dark chocolate covered macadamia nuts here, and they will be the death of me.
In the evening, Kirk's mom and I went out to get hats and sunglasses for Kirk and I. I completely forgot about the existence of clip-ons and did not know they were a well-commercialized venture. We picked out sunglasses for Kirk (who was not there-- he was having a nap and we decided to let him) that just happen to look wonderful on him, and then searched several stores for a hat that wasn't completely lame. We found a white fedora at Lids, and got two of them-- one for him and one for me. We are so danged cute. Catherine bought absolutely everything-- we saw a sundress that looked nice and so she told me I had to have it, and then she picked up a bracelet that goes with it (wooden, dark and light colored beads, made from coconut shells or so we're told), a pink and white hawaiian-patterned backpack purse (such a blessing on vacation-- the leather one rocks, but it's heavy and it's hot and I have to hold it up on my shoulder), and the sunglasses and hats! She tells me it's such a joy to have a daughter. (<3)
We came back in time for the aforementioned dinner, then Kirk wanted dessert, so we headed over to the grocery store (which isn't at all far from us, less than ten minutes walk) and found the weather to be PERFECT for a walk. Probably 76 degrees, with a mild seabreeze. There are strange stars in the sky overhead, and that sky is ink black. We passed a bobtailed domestic cat in the parking lot, who permitted us to give her a scritch, before wandering on without a word. She smiled at us, though, squinched up her eyes. I can't imagine even the birds have to work very hard out here. (the place where we petted her has become a joke landmark-- "where a cat was." XD)
I love shopping at grocery stores on vacation, getting the local stuff. We picked up a half dozen "apple bananas," which I hope to god taste like apples. They aren't ripe yet, so we don't know. We also bought a coconut, despite having no tools to open one. (In the store, Kirk pointed out that if you shook it, you could hear the milk inside. So I did, and then made the stupidest happy face ever. Simple pleasures!) I whined that what I -really- wanted was some toasted coconut-- something unsweetened and unenrobed in chocolate (though, toasted coconut in chocolate-- aummm.) We didn't find any at that time, but I survived somehow, and we came back and then went swimming in the pool again. Not for very long-- it closed at 10pm. But it was nice, to swim under the stars and hug.
We went to bed and got up EARLY, 6:30am, to eat breakfast of local coffee and thick bacon and (for me) a dish of strawberries. Then we went to the beach, where I got to go snorkeling for the first time. Wow! It is -so hard- to get out past the polished rocks in flippers-- walking is basically a no-go. And it was very hard for me to adjust to this idea of the snorkel and the mask, that I could -breath- under water, so initially I panicked a little and got frustrated and just could not get it to work. And then, when I did, why, this sucks, all there are are these depressing horrible huge rocks, there's not any color anywhere, the water is cloudy, ugh, argh...
But then I swam out to where it got just a little depper, not even really a whole foot, and wow. Coral everywhere. Fish everywhere! Sea urchins, sea anemones, this river of silver big-eyed fish that will drift under you for shade if you just float on for a little while without moving, striped ones and neon ones and angel fish and eels and GOD, you could almost reach out and catch one in hand. (Almost. They are wise to that.) I loved it. An hour and a half flew by while the four of us did it, just exploring. I found some smooth red coral-urchin and touched it, gingerly (I was afraid of hidden spines or nettles, but there were none) and all it did was gently close its hard projections, with little strength. I let it be, feeling somehow richer.
Afterward we reapplied sunblock and, sort of idly intending to go snorkel somewhere else, put the top down in the mustang that appears to be the tourist-car of Maui (it is just like the car my brother used to drive, but a convertible) and drove around. By 10:30am the sun was scorching and even with new SPF 70 sunblock I burned a little. I was very glad of my hat and sunglasses at this time. We stopped at a few different pull-over gawking spots and gawked. There was one with all of these little stone stacks, little shrines to whomever or whatever that tourists had made, and in a fit of happy misanthropy Kirk's father snuck up to one, looked right at Kirk's mom, and kicked it over. She protested, he laughed, and this happened a few more times. She took a video of it. Humor was good. He has been smiling nonstop, and nice to us and to service people. He is destressing-- who wouldn't, out here?
That was this morning; we came back (I was feeling a little queasy-- low blood sugar, I decided, and I turned out to be right) and stopped at a grocery/deli on the way. It turned out to be vegetarian and also to be a buffet-style carry-out only (nowhere to sit, and eating in the sizzling car was not an attractive option), so we bought some things for our dinner and pressed on. I found toasted coconut shavings there as a candy and squealed, and also bought a can of "young coconut juice, unsweetened" which was pitched as a beverage by the marketing on its cover. It turned out to be enormously satisfying, after all that time in the sun and salt, and I shared it around to spread the experience. We stopped at a coffee shop/restaurant next and had some really great food, cooked by a chef who clearly is -cooking- and not just -following a recipe-. I felt immediately and completely better, and then while errands were being done Kirk and I walked home, since it was not far and I wanted a shower badly. (I smelled like brine and fish! Not strongly, but the ocean smell is just so much more charming... in the ocean.) I took a shower with my swimsuit still on, to try and sanitize it, then stripped off and scrubbed everything twice. I had salt dreadlocks, which were sort of awesome.
The rest of today is unplanned, so I am going to wait for the high sun to pass, eat some excellent food, watch some DVDs (we rented Hancock and Big Fish, neither of which I have seen), and go swimming again once the sun goes down. I am having a really wonderful time, and getting exercise, and eating wonderful seafood. Thanks for reading, if you made it all the way through! We are taking pictures. |
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| 06:43pm 19/05/2009 |
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Tomorrow is my last day of work. I have been training my replacement for a few hours every day-- technically she is meant to be here all day, but I send her home after a couple of hours of talking. She has run a group home before, this one is not meaningfully different from others, and the guys are much easier to get along with than ninety percent of such clients. I have given her such advice as I can think to give, shown her the paperwork and routine, given her the addresses and numbers of the important individuals, and I am running out of things to tell her! Tomorrow I am meant to work from 3-9, but it will end up being from 2-5, as they are going to a Tigers game in the evening. So I'll turn over my keys then, and say my goodbyes. I will not miss the job, I don't think. I enjoyed it, it was feel-good, I will probably do a job quite like it in Portland, but I want bigger and better.
I am down 9.5 lbs today, on my sixth week of dieting. I got that low right away, dropping pounds of water weight, but I gained it back and did not let myself quit-- it has been slow and steady ever since, and it is -working-. I look different. I can see the difference. I am not giving up. I want to wear a bikini next summer.
We are starting to pack up the household, and look ahead to Maui. We went clothes shopping with the last of our gift cards and got shorts for him and capris for me. I had to shop in the Woman section, where they keep size 18 pants. Never again. Let that be the last time I buy an XL. I have been big my entire life, but I am only 24, and I can change my life just by deciding to and then following through. |
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| 08:32pm 11/05/2009 |
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Still on the weight loss train. Doing great.
Fourteen days until Maui! Started packing a few boxes. Quickly became discouraged-- five boxes later, not even half of our living room is packed away! Ye gods, the kitchens, the bedrooms, the decor...
We bought both our mothers an Aerogarden off of Amazon, where they had a really, really good price on one. Haven't heard back from them yet-- as of today, the one going to Portland has arrived in Kansas. It takes a while for things to cross the country, I know! We also bought ourselves a Roomba 560-- it does 4 rooms on a charge and comes with two little virtual walls (you can get more, if for some reason you thought you needed them), and can be set to go on an automated schedule-- it wakes up, vacuums the house, and then drives back up on to its little stand and goes back to sleep. It picked up  Our house looks fantastic, all of a sudden. Funny, what a little bit of cleaning can do--- WHAT A LITTLE BIT OF ROBOT SLAVE CLEANING CAN DO. Jonah, of course, is not quite sure about William the Roomba, but nor is he frightened. He moves leisurely out of its way. We dread the day he learns to turn it off.
Got our apartment reserved. Three more weeks!
Saw Star Trek. Liked it a lot. Took mom to see it, and she liked it too. Mother's Day visit left me a little stressed out, not sure I can articulate why. Dad says he is sad that I am going. It makes me sad, too, and a little frustrated-- not that I blame him for being sad, not that I don't -understand- it, nothing like that. I don't fit in. I wouldn't start fitting in if I stayed. But I wish it didn't disappoint him that I was leaving. I don't like to disappoint people. (Who does?) |
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| 04:54pm 01/05/2009 |
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Coming on to my third week on the diet, and haven't cheated even once. Hovering around eight and a half-- I got as low as 10.5 lost, but then it went back up. You are not supposed to weigh yourself everyday, but I do anyway, because I liked that initial encouragement. Must not get discouraged! I have been taking vitamins every day, and it really helps me to feel better.
The only thing worse than having to watch terrible, terrible anime is having to watch it on a TV that occasionally and for no reason deafens you at random. I am developing a SPLITTING headache. |
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| If-Then |
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| 11:20pm 26/04/2009 |
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music: Blue October - What If We Could
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Sitting at my kitchen table, comfortable in my computer chair, with my laptop playing tunes and my cat curled up in my lap. Down ten pounds on the diet, going strong, haven't messed up a single day.
I love lattes and I have them every night. I also love strawberries and triple-chocolate gelato ice cream, so I reserve calories at the end of the night so I can have them. A serving of each, along with a latte, is 270. I usually end dinner with 350-500 left in my budget, the way I have it set up. Knowledge of "filling foods" from all that time on the south beach diet has made this really very easy for me to follow-- I am usually 700-1000 below my weight-maintenance intake (and nowhere NEAR the danger zone where you bork your metabolism) without a single hunger craving or sugar crash. I feel awesome. I also have been religiously attentive about taking my multivitamin and getting enough sleep-- which is easy to do on our awesome new mattress set. I am perky all day long.
Did some drawing and painting over the weekend, getting back into my groove. Blaine and the others at 74 Grantour moved out, bringing the end of an era. Blaine has been cleaning and moving things all day, and we will install him in the guest room here for the next month, before we all cross the country together in the Penske. I am counting down the days to Maui and to Portland. I am happy pretty much every day.
I have a Twitter account at pride_goeth and I am still figuring out how to use the damn thing. It's fun and frivolous and neat.
I downloaded and played the 1982 animated movie "Flight of Dragons", and got to see the whole thing through for the first time ever-- we had a recorded-off-TV version on a VHS (along with the movies Labyrinth and Legend) that I used to watch religiously as a small child. It was both massively lamer and way cooler than I remember; I had Blaine and Kirk watch it with me, and there was a lot of groaning. It had the1980s "happy ending" clause working against it, where, psych!, no one actually died and everyone gets to be in love even though there is nothing there to found a relationship on, and the evil guy is evil cause he is ugly and cause he is evil. God damn, this movie -was- my childhood. I loved it and I laughed at it and I deleted it and I called it an hour and a half well spent.
It has rained like crazy all weekend. I broke out our katana umbrellas and we went to the mall to see Disney Earth, which was narrated by none other than the excellent James Earl Jones. It was a nature flick, so lots of sweeping vistas and baby animals, and a beautiful slow-motion scene of a cheetah catching an antelope. (I first typed "cantaloupe", which provokes a scene of massively less dignity.)
Life is full of wonderful and perfectly mundane things to make you happy. It is spring and I am ready for everything.
EDIT
Oh, hey, forgot to mention: Gliese 581d? http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Gliese_581_d Is anyone else retardedly excited about this? If there's an atmosphere there, then that is an ocean planet. If that is an ocean planet, THEN SPACE KRAKENS AMIRITE. |
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| 12:07am 15/04/2009 |
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So I am back on the weight-loss train, trying something a little different. It's a free application for the iTouch/iPhone, called "lose it!" and it's a calorie-counting diary. It asks for your birthday, gender, target weight and current weight, and then it calculates how many calories you are taking in every day to maintain your weight, and how many you would have to cut it back to to lose 1/2lb, 1lb, 1 1/2lb, or 2lbs a week. I was shocked to find that I have to take in 2750 a day to stay at the weight I am right now. I had no -idea- I was eating so much. You never really think about these things.
Better yet, it has an exercise counter-- it recalculates your calorie budget as your weight goes down, it logs food, it tracks and graphs your progress toward your goal-- current and total, and it has pre-programmed nutritional information for supermarket brands, restaurant foods, and generic food items. It has a list of pre-programmed exercise regimens, too, with a calculation for how many calories they burn (on average) per 30 minute interval. I laughed when I saw 'sexual activity' on there. (34 calories, so don't congratulate yourselves.) Tai Chi is 168, Kung Fu is 503. These numbers fluctuate according to current weight and general fitness levels, but it gives a good idea of how tough a workout a workout -is-. (Lawn work and housework are on there, too-- ways to congratulate yourself.) I'm giving it a good try. I haven't tried a really disciplined low-calorie diet before. I lost a lot of weight on south beach, but I gained it back, too. Maybe the secret isn't just eating some kind of fancy food formula (even though it -worked-) but, instead, just... put less crap in your face. I know, I know, big damn surprise. Still, can't a girl hope? I can hope.
I got a new purse over the weekend! It is leather and red and it is -saucy-. It's also bigger than my last purse by a good bit. The slow progession has begun-- we must moderate the growth. I find that I fill a purse with as much crap as it can hold. To prevent this from becoming a problem, I told myself that the day I carry a purse I can fit a cat in, I must carry a cat in it. The inevitable tears this results in will teach me a lesson of some variety, possibly even a relevant one.
When I am at work and somehow manage not to have work to do, I read me some webcomics. Two fun ones I have found (both by the same author, different artists) are Marry Me and Last Blood. Marry Me is, surprise, a romantic comedy, but it's well written and has a beginning, middle and end-- at barely 96 pages! It is now into its second arc, which is definitely a second -arc- and not a continuation of the first arc. It's funny, though, I laughed. The other one, Last Blood, is about how the zombie apocalypse happened and now the last humans in the world are being protected by vampires, because if the humans all die the vampires have no blood to drink. This is vastly darker but still has some laughs in it, and ends at 106 pages. You can knock them both off in an evening and you should. Last Blood is also working on its second arc.
I did income tax forms for a client today, out of ferocious spite for his useless, asshole, terrible father. I met him today for the first time and he shouted at my client for no reason, raked him over the coals for signing the wrong line (on a page that did not even matter), then signed the wrong line himself and ruined the form, then left without fixing the problem. He knew about these tax forms two months ago, but he waited to do it until the evening of the 14th. Also, he was rude to me. I don't like it when useless assholes are rude to me. Also he did not know the name of the local company who has been caring for his son -for the last five years-, the people who employ me. What a winner. So I did his tax forms on my own time after my shift, and I'll get them signed by him tomorrow, and he can expect another four hundred dollars in rebates. I wish I was allowed to make people cry professionally. |
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| 05:47pm 08/04/2009 |
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Kirk and I have worked out our budget, and if we spend no more than $40 a day, we should be in awesome shape for Portland in June. If we spend less than $40 a day, we should arrive with even -more- money. That is pretty easy to do! I am confidant and excited and happy.
Our kohl's card arrived in the mail and we are off to shop in the next few days; tonight, if I can convince him! I misplaced a gift card we got as a wedding present and I am fairly distressed over it. i tucked it in my purse, I thought into my wallet, and it isn't there. If it fell out somewhere at home, we'll find it. If it fell out in public somewhere, we won't. :(
I had a dream last night that Ilana, Blaine, kirk and I were all getting ready to go to the dojo together in Portland, and we were pouring over Google maps to determine how to get there for our very first class together. We were all brushing our teeth, too, for some reason. I texted Ilana about it when I woke up, then got a bee in my bonnet about the whole thing and started investigating dojos near where we want to live. And i found one that looks amazing; it's a third of the price it was to go to the dojo here, the classes are 2 hours 4 days a week in the evenings, and it's proper Shaolin style Kung Fu. They do weapons training and it looks really exciting: http://portlandshaolin.com/styles.html There are a few others we are looking into; this one is 25 mins drive from our home, but the next nearest would be 17, so that's not really a big deal. I sent a letter of introduction to the Sifu there, explaining our situation and backgrounds.
I made biscotti last night, at like 1am. I thought it turned out pretty terrible, but today I quite like it. DENSE, though, heavy.
I am ready for summer and to lose some damn weight. I am ready for Portland and for Maui. I am happy. |
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| 07:24pm 06/04/2009 |
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I saw Monsters vs. Aliens on Saturday, and it was a cute movie. Then we went to the mall to buy some things and trade some wedding presents (a set of dishes I really liked turned out to have crossed the line from "charmingly flawed" to "badly made"-- they didn't nest or stack at all well, and they had dye flaws that did not feel intentional, just sloppy.) We also went by the video game store and grabbed four classics off of the used rack, and a new game from Square Enix called the Last Remnant. The four used games (God of War, Prince of Persia: Sands of Time, LoZ: The Windwaker, and Devil MAy Cry 3 Special Edition) came to $55, and the new game came to $0, because the guy spent so much time putting the disk in and talking to us about it that he forgot to scan it in and ring it up. Whoops. No, we didn't go back. We're just not good people, okay? I will say that I -considered- it, but only so I can pretend to have morals.
Then we came home and had a lovely day in-- Blaine was gone for the weekend, and Kirk and I haven't had a day off together since before we got married. (Days spent off of work but prepping for the ceremony don't count! We hardly had a minute together alone.) We slept in on Sunday, and it was -glorious-, and then spent almost all of sunday out and about, shopping and wandering and eating tasty food. We also went to the grocery store, though that is not very interesting. We bought paper goods and sparkling water. Thrilling!
Then we came home, and there was a big filthy husky dog on the sidewalk, timidly making eye contact with people nearby, and tying to approach them. They all fled into their houses at the sight of him. And he was standing -right in front of my parking space-, and we had to get out of the car to get our groceries and go inside, so... I got out, hoped firmly it was not an incredibly bad idea, leaned a little, and beckoned him over. And he came right to me, turned around and sat with his shoulder against my hip, looked right up into my eyes, and whined. Gorgeous blue eyes, youngish dog, filthy, hungry, dehydrated. Big metal ring on his collar, and an animal control registration tag. We called them; they're closed on sunday. By then, so was the humane society, and everyone else.
Oh, god damn it. So he came with me to our porch quite willingly, and kissed my face and whined and sat when I asked him to. He knew all the basic commands, and in short order we had him down in the basement. I got him dishes, food and -- on a whim -- a plush squeaky chew from the dollar tree in walking distance, then came back and sat with him while he settled down. He accepted the chew, removed the plastic squeaker from it (along with several small wads of cotton stuffing), drank water, did a circuit of the basement and of the towels we made into a rude bed for him, and then laid down to be scratched and to sleep! Cute, handsome, nice boy. Calm, too, surprisingly. Took pictures, went on Craigslist, pawned him off on Staci later that night (ha ha, sucker!) and by morning animal control called us and the owner came to get him before lunch.
So that story ends well! The time we briefly had a dog. He had been missing from his home for three days. He lived the next town over.
Today i have finished my thank-you cards, and oof, am I tired! I had a meeting this morning and then came home and got invited to go to Maui for a week, before we move out West. His parents are renting a house out there and invited us to come. My life is so crazy, sometimes. I have never been to Maui and my big butt will look horrendous in a swimsuit AND I DON'T CARE. MAUI. YAY! What is Hawaiian for "get out of my sunshine, dearest, you're blotching my tan"? I'm sure there is a phrase for it.
I am so happy. My life is just great. |
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| 07:19pm 02/04/2009 |
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Had an update in mind but now I can't recall it. It's gone!
Been sending out thank-you notes, writing them during my shifts and at home.
Took Jonah and Mei to the vet, to get their shots updated and to get some tranquilizers for the trip out west in June. (Just in case they need them.) The vet found a heart murmur in Jonah, and it scares the hell out of me. He didn't have one before. I know that sometimes they are nothing and don't affect longevity or quality of life, and sometimes they're a sign of a congenital disorder that will up and kill your cat painfully, some day. I don't know which one he has. One more thing to watch, I guess. He's the best cat I've ever had-- he's smart and sweet and motivated (if, perhaps, motivated expressly to do cat things) and I want only the best, longest, and most problem-free life for him. Of course, that's what we always want, really.
Youtube is filled with bizarre things, like Mark Tatum, the man with no face, and the woman with a 300-lb stomach tumor. I need to stop clicking anything with the tag "surgical" on it, because it's all deformed babies and things that sort of give me nightmares. Like Harlequin Icthyosis. I provide you with things to look up because I know that some of you are stupid and will do it and I want you to know that you hurt yourself on purpose.
Kirk and I have been married for a week and a half and we have been highly caffeinated during this period. We got an espresso machine that makes cappuccinos, lattes ('machiattos') and, well, espresso-- and it has seen more or less continuous use. I got a set of porcelain cups and saucers, in cappucino size and espresso size, and they sit on our counter looking oh so classy next to the biscotti jar. |
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| Rant. |
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| 08:49pm 30/03/2009 |
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There's an episode of Golden Girls on the television here, where one of the women's daughters wants to have a baby by artificial insemination. There's a laugh track, and the mother is horrified that her girl wants to do something so un-NATCH-ral. I used to watch this show when I was in elementary-- have not seen it since. It seems so stuffy and overdone, now-- the comedy has graduated beyond the girls comments and into the comedy of the ridiculous, I think unintentionally. I wonder what my children would think of it? Dated not only by the hairstyles and the videography and the thick southern accents and the laugh track, but by the outdated and chokingly conservative, ignorant viewpoints.
It makes me glad that we've come forward; and sad, because I know not all of us have, and that there are plenty of people that I know that do not know why they believe the things they believe, and could not explain it even if they wanted to. And they don't. It isn't a quality of "the old" or "the republicans" or "the south" or any damn group in particular. It's just people who have decided for themselves that they figured everything out and don't care enough to change their minds again. If you can answer any fucking question about what you believe or why something is right/wrong with ten words or less, your paradigm is ill-defined at best.
Isn't it important not to become complacent in what we are doing, or in why we do it? Isn't it important to catch ourselves, to check ourselves, to keep ourselves on a short leash? To know what the bottom line is, and not lose sight of it? |
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| Wedding |
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| 05:51pm 26/03/2009 |
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So, we got married.
Ceremony at 4pm meant getting ready by 2pm, after a breakfast I couldn't get halfway through at Nikko's Koney Kitchen (the one that's a minute's walk from our back door, most of that across a parking lot). Amanda Williams, our photographer (wwww.amandawilliamsphotography.com) was at the Heritage Museum when we got there, and snapped photos while I was getting ready, pictures of the museum, pictures of the chapel upstairs... My mother sewed me into my dress, just to make sure it stayed zipped all night, and I stepped into a petticoat. She made the whole outfit. It was as comfortable as these things can be. It was beautiful.
Gwen, Kirk's cousin, curled and sprayed my hair around and hour earlier. It was already straightening when the pianist started playing music upstairs. Gwen brought the irons in her purse, and recurled a few strands just before I went up the hidden stairs. There's a small door in the back of the chapel, behind some structural columns-- not actually hidden from the congregation, but a little hard to see. The stairs are so narrow that you can touch both sides with your elbows, and the steps are steep. I worried that I would trip, as nervous and overwrought as I was. I didn't. But I worried. An older lady, a friend of my mother's, hid back there with me to lift the train of my dress so it was straight and full when I went up the aisle, and she had encouraging remarks for me that I no longer remember. My mother made a bouquet out of red roses and baby's breath-- full, thick, fat red roses that were dark and velvety and dramatic. It was the nicest bouquet. She made boutonnieres for the guys-- real ones, and fake ones-- "just in case someone is allergic to roses." The chapel was decorated with a millions of fake flowers and ribbons and poufs. I asked for fake flowers-- they are hundreds of dollars less espensive, and they won't wilt or fade. They looked great. They're donating all of the decor to the museum for the next time someone wants to have a wedding there.
I didn't wear my glasses for the ceremony. I didn't think I'd be able to see anything anyhow. I was right. They played Pachelbel's Canon in D when I walked up the aisle, with my father gripping my arm. Just before we walked on he gave mea bristly kiss on the cheek, and said "We'll get through this. I love you." I just about lost it then and there. My lips were trembling the whole way up. The congregation stood for me, and I barely made eye contact with anyone. Joe, my oldest friend, made it to the ceremony -- and I saw him, smiling at me, but I don't think I even smiled back. I forgot how.
The pastor asked formally if I was here to marry this man, and then asked Kirk, and then asked who gives this woman to marry this man. My father replied, "Her mother and I do." Then he kissed me again, and went to sit down. My mom was pouring tears. I was a deer in the headlights. Kirk did not waver during the vows. He never broke eye contact, and he smiled a little, giving his vows with inflection and emphasis. He meant them, and I knew it, and everyone there knew it, and I started crying. I tried to be half so steady when it was my turn, and was glad that my hair hid part of my face-- I thought on every line that I would fall apart, but I made it through, and the pastor whispered encouragements to us throughout the ceremony. I had time to calm down again after that part, and got myself more or less under control.
The pastor included a bit in the ceremony I didn't expect-- talking to us and the congregation about when he first met us, six motnhs ago, and how impressed he was with our honesty and communication-- "skills that will serve you well in what is doubtless to be a long and fruitful marriage." We lit the candles, kissed, and Kirk stole me away to he back of the chapel.
Our photographer wanted to take photos afterward-- formal ones, artsy ones, ones in sunbeams and ones where we just hugged each other and talked, ones in the street with all of our friends, ones at the traintracks, ones making out... then we all drove to the reception, where our DJ greeted us outside and introduced us to Tomoyasu Hotei's "Battle Without Honor or Humanity," from the Kill Bill soundtrack. We cut the cake, and sat through three touching, roasting, funny, and loving toasts from our friends. Our first dance was to "All I Ask of You" from Phantom of the Opera-- Kirk chose it. I mostly held in check. Then I danced with my father, and cried a lot. Mom did, too. Mom more or less cried the whole time.
We had an excellent reception. Everyone was smiling and having a good time. The food was good, the crew at the hall was good, and we got many, many presents. My favorites are the espresso machine, and a pair of katana-handled swords (accompanied by a hilarious note), and the Aerogarden that arrived yesterday morning in the mail from Amazon. (AEROGARDEN OMFG.) I completely stand by small wedding receptions-- we only invited people that we really, well, wanted to be there. Some people could not make it, but everyone that did was a friend and a loved one. We had a phenomenal time, and received assurances from a few people that it was "The best wedding they'd ever been to" or "the only time I have gone to a wedding and not been bored." Richard showed up, and gave me a hug on his way out. The only people who left early on in the night were people with four-hour drives ahead of them.
We wrapped up the party early, with "Come What May" from Moulin Rouge, and I cried again. It was an emotionally exhausting day. I got married, though, so that's not unexpected.
We still have not even STARTED on the thank-you notes-- it is going to be a big pile! I love you all. |
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| 02:11pm 22/03/2009 |
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Getting married in two hours.
I am wearing pajama pants (on their third wearing, but with clean underpants beneath), a button-up pink striped shirt, and more makeup and hair product than I've had on since prom. I will be driving to my hometown shortly to squeeze into a wedding dress and fight back anxiety. I am going to be married soon. It isn't that it feels more real than it did before; it's just that when it's closer, it looks bigger. I am happy and excited. I also kind of want to throw up, but that's nerves.
Love you all, see you again when I'm off the market for good. Amanda Voegtlin! Gwen has done up my hair and bought me some lipstick for my big day. Everyone has been so nice. My father gave a toast at the rehearsal dinner, and ended on the line "and know that right now, you love each other the least. May your love always grow." I cried. |
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| 03:34pm 18/03/2009 |
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I am clean, scrubbed, moisturized, dolled up, rested, fed, and at my place of employment. My kitchen is spotless and my living room will be by the time I get home. We have enough money to go into the coming weekend and I am about to get five days off, one of which I get married and all of which I get to visit my friends and family. Kirk's parents will be getting into town in an hour and a half and we will more than likely visit with them tonight. I cheated (?) and peeked at my registry, and one of my aunts bought us the dishes set that I really wanted. I will try not to look anymore, but now I hum while I put away the set we already have (which is beautiful but already chipping, and the cats have broken, in their furry carreer, at least one piece of each set-- we have Service For 7.33).
I found out that baking soda is the best thing ever for cleaning up a sticky, greasy stovetop-- the soap wasn't doing anything to it, and all the tiny oil spots that fizz up when you're cooking had turned into this incredibly clinging, glue-like, horribly yellow veneer that dust would stick to. The baking soda stripped it off in balls and the stovetop is glossy white again. Don't judge me for not knowing this already. I am basically a huge slob.
I am really looking forward to seeing everyone. Some people have cancelled last minute, but hopefully that is not the trend. |
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| 02:21am 18/03/2009 |
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Holy shit, I was moving a bag of potting dirt that was open at the corner, and a little bit fell out and then got caught in the kitchen vent and blew straight into my left eye. I have been fighting to get that shit out for like forty minutes and I am going crazy. I have been hosing it out with saline and poking it and standing on my head and doing everything, everything! It hurts like a frigging bitch! fuck fuck fuck fuck
almost an hour later, it stops hurting. nothing came -out- of my eye. it's all swollen around the eyelid now, from all my poking and pulling and soothing. now I am scared of the bag of dirt. |
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